Wala lang...

It's been two and a half months since we got back from our Philippine vacation, and loathe as I am to admit it, I still feel intense pangs of homesickness whenever I look at the pictures from home. I can't even bring myself to write about the trip either --- everytime I start, I stop and then I would just feel lonely and depressed. Today was a particularly bad day. Who would have thought that seeing a hazy picture of a tropical beach scene (on one of the checks I was processing) could trigger that bone-deep sadness again?

I don't know if it's just me... I mean, there must be many, many Filipinas out there who have gone home too and went back to resuming their lives in the US or some other foreign country without too much difficulty. Not me. I'm fine when I don't remember, but once I start mulling over what I've given up and what I can never have living abroad, I just feel quite despondent.

I miss my family and friends terribly, that's for sure. I guess one of the biggest sacrifices I made when I married Dan is yielding the chance to have them around all the time, to share joys and sorrows with them not through phone or emails but in person. I took that for granted in the past, and now it's just haunting me. When you're young and in love, you just never think too seriously about these things... but now...

Don't get me wrong. I am blissfully happy with Dan, but a part of me yearns strongly to have family and friends around. I am lonely and sometimes it's just killing me. So I go shopping and indulge my material whims (hah, go ahead and justify your addiction, you shopaholic gurl!!!). Good thing too that the new house and planting my garden are keeping me busy. I need my sanity! Would someone please throw some sunshine my way?

Comments

[SWEETHEARTKANRO]

may, pareho tayo , im so homesick lately. isang taon nung umuwi kami 3, And i wanted to reach out my family in the PHILS too. JUst chat with them, share with them anything in my head. di na nag iisa, u need many frends near u and keep on talking to ur frends in the PHILS and ur family will ease some pain. mag register ka sa gizmo.com if ur family or frends has computers u can speak with them everyday w/o charge at malinaw pa sia sa telepono minsan. i hope ur having a great week, just stay busy. GOD bless u . DAN and WYN.karen

[geri]

I think what I regret most about being far from my other family is that not their to see Evan grow up. Pero what can we do? Life would be unimaginable without our husbands too, right? Meron ngang iba jan who are not as fortunate to have met their other half so there are worse situations than ours. Congratulations on your new house and enjoy the summer!